It's been my experience in life that you can only run hot, be on top, or have things seem to be going your way for so long. Once the cosmos, karma, or lady luck have decided that things need to be difficult again for you, and then everything becomes an up hill battle all over again. I posted a video on the YouTube channel, but for anybody that is purely a blog reader here's the lowdown. On the afternoon of the 19th my computer crashed. I then spent the following 48 hours straight trying to restore, recover, or at least figure out a work around for the error so that I could get back to "work" so to speak. It was all for not, and I ended up spending another ten hours reinstalling Windows 10, and downloading / installing all of the updates. It was tedious, and frustrating because I really REALLY didn't want that to happen at this point in the whole "Something from Nothing" series. Since getting the system back up and running I've only played two of the free rolls, and didn't do well in either one. In the second tournament I was still trying to get my broadcasting software running, and while trying to focus on the game as much as I could I was railed by another bullshit river situation. Hole Cards: KQ spades Flop Q, 8, 5 diamonds. Turn 4 clubs *we both push ALL-IN* River's a 5 of hearts, and he's holding K5 off.) I know that it's a free roll, and that kind of stuff is to be expected from time to time, and especially within the first 45 mins. The hands wouldn't be that big of a deal if it weren't for the other problems. I'm okay with the crazy stuff that happens at the tables, but it's a lot harder to let it roll of my back when it seems like the things that I really want to excel at just wont materialize. Thoughts of giving up constantly flood my mind when I contemplate what the future looks like at this rate, but at the same time I don't want this to be another undertaking abandoned because of complications, and setbacks... and so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I wasn't able to make it into the cash yesterday on any of the free rolls, but the entire day wasn't a wash. I know that two blogs ago I broke down how my bank roll management would ideally work for this project, but I chose to deviate from the course a little bit. I sat down at a micro limit (0.01/0.02) for a little over an hour, and at first I thought I was doing well. About half way into the session I realized that I had "auto recap" on, which is an option that will automatically refill the chip stack you brought to the table to the max amount allowed. I didn't want that, and didn't realize that I had it turned on until too late. I told myself not to take any money to the table unless I was willing to lose it, and while I was holding firm to that I also had it in the back of my head that I really didn't want to lose any of my meager bankroll. After checking my bank roll at the main screen I noticed that I was down 0.60 cents! Chump change to a pro, but in perspective of what "Something from Nothing" is all about that's huge! I figured out how to turn "auto recap" off, and started in on a grind I didn't expect to endure at 1 am. After about half an hour of waiting patiently for decent hands to regain my 0.60 cents I ended up reeling in more than I had expected!
I know that I keep mentioning the fact that it isn't really a lot of money, but I can't emphasize enough how grateful I am for every little bit! I got the 0.60 back that I was aiming for, and then some, which brings the bankroll to: $8.75
It sucks that right after doing really well during a live stream things started falling apart in the family. Without divulging too much I'll just say that it's new marriage stuff. This last September we will have been married for 3 years, so I think that still qualifies as "new marriage." How that rolls over into "Something from Nothing" is that it has been my experience that if any aspect of an individuates life is out of wack than the rest of their life suffers... Or at least shows some kind of evidence. Perfect example is that tonight during the live game I knew the other guy had the straight on the turn, but I kept playing as if I actually thought a pair of aces would do anything. Then once the 3 hit the river (giving me two pair) I almost instantly called their all in bet. I knew from the turn that I was done, but I didn't care. In that very moment I was honestly trying to figure out how this weekend will play out once my wife goes out of town to a "spiritual retreat" with her friend. Speaking of which, I have to get back to worrying about that. Thanks for reading, and until next week - good luck in the rings!
Last night had completely different results compared to the rest of the week. Instead of busting out of the free roll in less then half an hour I finished in 5th place. I was really gunning for first, but I'll take what I get gratefully. The take home from 5th in the 6:45 W.S.O.P. free rolls is $5.40 which normally isn't worth 5 hours of my life, but considering the objective of this project it's amazing! That brings the bank roll to $6.47, and with an original deposit of $0 with 322 days left to see how far it can go. As far as the plan goes from here; the original hope was to get at least $10.00 or more together before seeing how well I can do at some $1.00 Sit and Goes, or one or two M.T.T. (Multi Table Tournaments) but being mindful of the fact that $10.00 doesn't last long if I'm busting out of 5 Sit and Goes a night, or 5 M.T.T.'s a week. That being the case I will limit the Sit and Goes to 1 per week, bank roll permitting, and continue the nightly 6:45 free rolls until I get to about $150 *God willing* at which point I think it'll be safe to discontinue those. Getting to the $50 mark would be amazing because it opens up the ability to start buying into the micro (0.01/0.02) no limit cash games with $2. If I do well in a few of those sessions, and I end up getting to the $100 mark I'll start trying some M.T.T.'s if they ever happen. The $1 tournaments are rare. I suppose it is because the juice isn't really worth the squeeze, but if it happens, it happens. Anyway that's where my mind gets to when I start considering the possibilities of this thing working out, but I am also very mindful of the fact that none of that happens if I don't get into the cash for the free rolls a few more times. This 5th place win was a blessing that I am so thankful for, so I am going to go ahead and cut this blog short before I start getting into what my life as a poker pro looks like...
I am currently editing the 5 hour video down to just the big plays that were huge ups, and downs for me, but it might be sometime on Sunday afternoon when that happens. I know how lame it would be to sit and watch a recording of somebodies play by play for 5 hours to win a few bucks. THANK YOU FOR READING! - Remember; if any of this interests you at all, feel free to subscribe to my YouTube channel Poker Player NV where I live stream all my 6:45 games, Monday - Friday. Again, thank you for you're time and Good Luck in the Rings!
So yeah, sadly it seems like every bit of momentum I had getting ready to start this endeavor is dissipating for reasons I hadn't anticipated. I'm using big words because I feel stupid at the moment, but I'm willing to snap out of it for the sake of trudging forward. I couldn't have expected my abilities of entertaining, managing, and focusing to be so lacking, but I am learning slowly that the people that make this kind of stuff look easy had to start somewhere... I like to imagine that somewhere being at least in the ballpark of where I am at the moment. Moving forward - I am not giving up. The wisdom from every banal poster with a quote about not quitting, every Facebook meme about success, and the standard words of encouragement that anyone could expect from a friend is more then enough to keep me going. I still have hope, and I honestly do believe that the difficulty of getting this off the ground isn't a sign that I shouldn't be doing it, but rather a question of how bad to I want it?
I haven't given up on this project all together. I want to believe that this is just a turbulence phase that'll pass as long as I keep going. Between having to devote all of my attention to family matters, and completely missing the noon tournaments because of other stuff I haven't been able to produce any new videos, nor any profit. At this point my wife and I have come to the conclusion that recording multiple tournaments in a day, and editing those, but still live streaming the 6:30pm $100 free-roll is the best option. I'm hopping to start that process by Wednesday at the latest, but I can't promise anything at this point unfortunately. As of right now what I am going to be able to produce are recordings of tournaments that I am able to play, but they will not be live stream. I am aware of the fact that unless profits start to grow exponentially than there's really no reason to keep this going. So as always check out the videos, and if nothing else wish me luck! Thanks for your attention, and good luck in the rings!
